I always get reflective on short excursions by myself, and this time was no different. I started thinking about the type of person I want to be in about a year's time. I came up with 3 things I want to be (or do) more, and 3 more I want to be (or do) less. Here they are:
I want to be more healthy at this time next year
I want to exercise more regularly and focus on eating better. It's shocking to me whenever I hear research about how the stuff we eat has so much to do with our temperament, energy, and so on. Maybe it's logical but it's easy to go through so much of our lives without paying attention to what we're eating, how much we're eating, and how it's impacting us. So I want to eat less unhealthy stuff and way more fruits and veggies.
I want to be more dependent on the Holy Spirit at this time next year
I want to learn more about the Spirit. Sometimes he seems so spooky and the idea of being "filled with the Spirit" as Paul tells us to be in Ephesians can just be weird to me. But at the same time I desire to know what that means and actually be filled with the Spirit. I want to depend on him for direction in big and little decisions, in how to react to someone I don't particularly like, or in what to say when conversing with someone about Jesus. I just want more of him.
I want to be more conversational about Jesus
I just want to talk about him more with people. "Witnessing" or "evangelism" are common words for it, but for me it's more about asking people where they're at and starting from there, rather than starting with something like "If you were to die today do you know where you'd go?" I want to be winsome, honest, and humble with people to see how I can express the Gospel in real, tangible, understandable ways. To do that I need to know my stuff, know my Lord and Savior well and know what he's done for me. I want to do that.
I want to be less narcissistic.
I think I could say this one every year. Another word for it is selfish but I like narcissistic better for some reason. I can be incredibly, ridiculously self-centered in my thinking, speech, and behavior. I want to be quicker to think of others, their needs, and my role in encouraging and serving them.
I want to be less judgmental.
Another one that could be on my list every year. I judge people by the way they dress, eat, talk, look at me, don't look at me, and on and on. I can write someone off based on the brand of shoes they wear... it's ridiculous but I know I'm not alone. I assume the worst about all kinds of people and group people together by all kinds of sinful, dreadful ways. I want to do this less and less and come from a position of acceptance and love before I do any judging in my heart.
I want to be less likely to rationalize my own sin.
I talk myself into all kinds of things and rationalize my way through it so it doesn't seem so bad to me by the time I'm done. Whether an attitude or an action, I want to confess and repent quicker than I sin, running straight to Jesus instead of away from him. It's in my sin that I need him most, and I can also rationalize how much I don't deserve grace (which is true of course). Instead I want to approach the throne of grace with confidence in my time of weakness and frustration. Rather than rationalize my sin, I want to spend time rationally thinking through my faith, my great Savior, and my response to his mercy.
These are a few things I want to do more and less by next year. By God's grace it will happen. By the Holy Spirit's presence and power I will grow in wisdom and love for Jesus. And, Lord willing, I'll still be alive next year at this time to think through a few ways I want to grow.